JEDS (HOLLAND) http://www.jedsbarbequeandbrew.com/

First off, I would like to thank Jeds/Holland for kindly inviting me (via twitter) out to their establishment so that I could check out their gig. To be honest though, I was afraid this place would be a lot like the Jeds in Maumee ….only because it’s located in the Holland area. I don’t know what the deal is with that part of town, but most eating establishments in Holland tend to be a bit filthy & outdated. But I am not one to make assumptions based solely on past experience so I went in with an open mind.

First we have the staff…or should I say… the person. On the day I arrived, there was literally only one girl working the whole place…and it was fairly busy at the time. She played hostess, waitress, bartender, and cashier for everyone there. And let me just say, she busted her hump and handled it all fairly well for being a soloist. Problem is, after placing my food order, trying to get her attention and keeping it for two seconds was like trying to talk politics with a 5 year old. Not really her fault since she was so busy, but this is one of the most common mistakes I see in places like this. Believe it or not, making someone feel like they are on “speed round” of a game show when they try and talk to you does not inspire their generosity (tip? money? hello?).

Holland’s rich tradition of filth lives on as well! The place is kinda slimey inside along with having one of those gas station type bathrooms. Ya know, the ones where ya gotta lock the door to get any privacy? Then for some odd reason they have these big posters covering most of the windows, making the inside seem like an after hours meeting place for some satanic cult. Perhaps its true purpose is to hide all the chipped/worn paint on the walls??? Either way, the actual place is very cramped and small to begin with so blocking any outside light doesn’t add much appeal.

So there ya have it. Looks as though my initial fears & assumptions were dead on (shocker!) On my way out though, I did notice a volleyball pit/ patio area off to the side. That’s a great idea if they can actually pull it off. Will have to give them one more chance this summer and check that out. Nonetheless, I give this place a generous D. Only because I got to eat my favorite freakball dish again!!  J

 ...like Mr. Gump says “that’s all I have to say bout that…”

 

Stay Hungry- The Real Frank

5th Street Pub (Perrysburg, OH)

                                            https://www.facebook.com/5thStreetPub

I will keep this review as short as possible, only because this place is still very new and certain things need to be revisited over time.

I kinda stumbled upon this one by accident. The location isn’t exactly the easiest to find for anyone not familiar with the Perrysburg area, but being that it is currently 2013… may I suggest a quick google search on your smart phone to locate.

Simply put, this place is very much worth the slight hassle to track down & try out. Walking through the door for the first time was like finding the lost city of Atlantis. A casual but classy decor along with a great energy brought forth by both the patrons and staff. They have a nice sized bar, surrounding high tops, and an adjoining dining area as well. Plus I love any restaurant that has segregated areas to eat/drink, yet has a floor plan open enough to observe it all from wherever you sit (hello! people watching!). 

The staff was exceptional from the hostess to the servers… attractive, welcoming, and professional. If management knows anything about anything, they will know enough to take good care of a staff like this. And here's just one example of their food-they have something called a“creamy mushroom meatball smash” ...and frankly?... it is to die for!

I’m not sure if it’s “word of mouth” or what, but 5^th Street Pub already seems to be one of the best new places to surface in a while. This is the type of establishment in which downtown Perrysburg needed so desperately too! Corporate bloated dining at Levis Commons really isn't doin’ the trick, so it’s nice to see a new place like this with a little more local flavor to it. 

So it's official~ I am currently a huge fan of 5SP and highly recommend them to anyone who is in the mood for a casually fun & tasty experience. Like I said before though, we will see if they can keep the vibe alive over time. Consistency is the greatest test of all & I (like most customers) can be very fickle if pushed away ever so slightly. Don't want them coming down with a classic case of Burger Bar syndrome!

In the meantime, I will enjoy spending my hard earned money at this cool new gastropub. And when they open for lunch (apparently starting in May), I’ll be spending even more!

An Easy A for the new kid on the block…nice job guys!    J

 

Stay Hungry!

 The Real Frank

JEDS (MAUMEE LOCATION) http://www.jedsbarbequeandbrew.com/

            I honestly don’t know where to begin with this one. This place breaks my heart in so many ways, but I will begin on a few positive notes.

 

            Let me start by saying how much I love Jeds’ freakballs! If you haven’t tried them before, I highly recommend them with an ice cold beer. Also, their menu is much better than the ho-hum competitors  like Ralphies or Frickers. But that’s not saying much since Toledo seems to be the mecca of mediocre sports bars.

 

Before Jeds busted on the scene in the mid 90’s, Frickers was the only real place to go to for beer and hot wings. Then Jeds arrived, exuding rebellion and finally some excitement, shaking shit up a little. But lack of real competition inhibits our desire to maintain and improve our own standards, and that’s what has happened to Jeds.

 

If you enjoy going to a place where most of the waitresses are somewhat homely, out of shape, and give you horrible service…this place is for you! If you enjoy sweaty overweight manager dudes staring at you from a distance while you eat…this place is for you! If you like old wobbly tables/chairs, outdated décor, and nasty bathrooms…this is place is for you!! And if you like hanging out with dirty contractor dongs at the bar (who quit early for the day just to drink the rest of the afternoon)…then this place is definitely for you!

 

Whoever runs this particular Jeds needs to bring some freakin life back into the place. They can start by giving the place a good scrubbing cuz it looks & smells as though the place hasn't been cleaned in years!! Then they should have all of their hostesses, waitresses, and bartenders stand in a single file line and pierce each one of them in the heart with a syringe full of adrenaline. Or better yet, find a new waiting staff all together. (For all you over-sensitive weirdoes out there-that first part was a joke.) This may come as a shock to you all, but attractive-friendly waitresses still bring in most business in places like this. And skimping on the quality of your bartenders is the biggest no-no of all! Some of these young girls look like they just rolled out of a hospital bed after giving birth. Then if they’re not checking their smart phone every two seconds, they’re shooting the shit with some old rusty regular. Umm, honey…a good tip from me would buy you almost a full tank of gas. I mean, doesn’t anyone want to make money anymore?? With that said, I simply give Jeds Maumee a very lame D- . If it weren’t for those tasty tasty Freakballs, Jeds wouldn’t even be worth reviewing at this point. Jeds! I hope you (& your waitresses) shape up real soon before its too late!

 

 

Stay Hungry!

                                                              The Real Frank

 

BAD BAR HAIKU

To all of the Celtic Taverns, & Bar 20's out there that have had brief lifespans for obvious reasons...this haiku is for you :-)

                                                   One more hopeless place

                                                 lifeless girl serves me drinks

                                                        No fiz Out Of Biz

BURGER BAR 419

                                                            BURGER BAR 419

                          http://www.burgerbar419.com/

              First up to bat is Burger Bar 419, located at Heatherdowns & Key in south Toledo. When this place first made its grand opening a little less than 2 years back, I was totally excited for several reasons. I mean, the name alone was much better than the previous establishment which was a short lived place called “The Mustard Seed” (really???? The mustard seed???)

            On the other hand, I was also hoping it would NOT become just another fly by night/ trendy place where pretentious hipsters like to sit around in their “Justin Timberlake” hats pretending to analyze & criticize the arts. Nonetheless, I gave it an enthusiastic shot, because like most people in our town… I get the “It’s new!” fever too.

 My first visit was somewhat mediocre, yet I saw the potential. The girl working behind the bar was friendly (enough) ,attractive (enough),and the food was good. Nice atmosphere too…it was also refreshing not to have multiple flat screens gang raping my senses with sports shit. This place actually had no tvs in it at first, then later thay added a few thanks to a certain demographic of Toledoans complaining about it- ‘nuff said. The layout inside also seemed very similair to the other places that were in there before…but then again, don’t fix what ain’t broken….the layout of both bar & dining areas were always fine.

  Then from late 2011 into 2012, Burger Bar 419 seemed to be growing into a great place to both eat and actually hangout. The place was starting to get packed regularly & the clientele was as good as it gets in Toledo. The staff was getting friendlier, better looking, and the food/service consistently topped itself with each visit. The place kinda reminded me of the show “Seinfeld” …if you watch the first season, its good, but not nearly as good as the following seasons after they got going. And as I suspected, the Burger Bar got going and found a strong position among the mass amounts of Toledo eateries.

 Now based on what I’ve personally witnessed, I am going to assume that BB419’s early success has a lot to do with a man named Moussa, one of Burger Bar’s owning partners. I see him in there all of the time….always friendly and his staff seems to sincerely like him as well. Moussa must be one of those few owners around town that understands the basic formula for making money! And one crucial portion of the formula for a place like this: hiring females who can look good, serve well, and …wait for it…wait for it…...yes …have a personality too!!! I mean c’mon, who spends the most money in these places? Is it really that hard to figure out? (Hint: the answer is not women.) Most normal red-blooded men want attractive-friendly bartenders & waitresses to quench their thirsts, feed their appetites, and yes-stroke their egos. Just a little bit of eye contact and a smile goes a long way- I’m not asking these women to go home with us for Christ sake, its just simple math! Many of the lovely ladies of 419 seem to understand how this age old process works…and we return the favor by giving them a much larger tip than we can afford! You see? Everyone wins in this scenario!

 Lets name some names now, shall we? I have two easy favorites who deserve to be mentioned for their remarkable service over the past several months. First is Rachel (Bartender)- pretty, friendly, chatty and her whole vibe instantly puts you in the “party mood” upon arrival! Fellow bartenders pay close attention….This is how a real bartender behaves. If you have been at her bar more than once, she will likely have your beer poured and ready to drink before you even sit down. If I owned a bar, I would choose her first to be on my dream team. Next is Sam (Server/Hostess). If Dita Von Teese & Kat Von D made a love child together- that would be Sam. She’s like a rock n roll vampire... very cool, but very fun & personable. Unfortunately, she left BB to serve for another competitor. This kind of sucks because she was a big reason I dined in, not just drink. In the meantime, I prefer to just sit at the bar. There are several others that were always great to see, like Jen, Devon, even Brandon(yes, I mentioned a dude, but if I ever mention a male server- you best believe he knows his shit!)

             
             My major complaint is this though- I’ve begun to notice a subtle trend in the past 3-4 months …more male staff! Meaning more dude servers…and even worse, more dude bartenders! In a town like ours, having a male bartender is the absolute worst thing to have if you’re a man ready to spend some serious money at a bar. The sorry fact is this, 99.9% of all male bartenders suck simply because they are men…In other words, If a dong bartender isnt hitting on your date, he’s too worried about looking cool in front of the female customers and neglecting your next beer (i guess its just the male instinct which we can not do anything about). I see it time and time again. Dongs belong in the back anyhow, unseen and cookin' up my meal real good so that the food portion of my experience is extraordinary.

 To wrap up, Burger Bar 419 needs to make sure they don’t lose that magic they were beginning to have…I don’t want to believe they peaked too quickly, but they need to tighten up some things. I can deal with the hipster dufuses I see there from time to time…but please please…bring back the old BB and restore the flame in which I didn’t mind burning my hard earned money in! Pandora music on an indie rock station, expressionless servers with pretty faces, and dude bartenders aint gonna cut it!

 You guys were an easy A back in mid 2012.But currently I give you a generous C+

 -Im rooting for you though!                             

 The Real Frank

 PS: Oh and I almost forgot....You also have one of the nastiest restrooms in town -clean that shit up!

 

The Truth (Intro)

The “Truth”... Ahhh the truth… Remember the truth? You know, that thing that each of us from time to time have denied, rejected, or attempted everything within our power to avoid altogether? That is, until some jackass comes along and calls us out. And isn’t that the grandest truth of all? No one and I mean NO ONE likes to be called out, including myself. Thats human nature I guess …easier to judge than to judge thyself. Ok then -so it’s a normal human behavior to avoid the truth sometimes…fair enough, none of us are perfect. But sometimes the truth must be exposed in order to “reset & maintain” the valuable things amongst ourselves & others.… Im talkin’ the good, the bad, and even the ugly!

 

I am just another average joe who happens to live in a relatively small - blue collared town called Toledo, Oh. There are many great things about Toledo that I love. One of them is that we have a myriad of restaraunts to choose from when dining out. I think at one point we were known as the restaurant capital of the U.S. Not sure if that was ever really the case but who cares…the point is, we have and always have had a huge selection of places to eat here. And over the last 3 years, I have taken a specific interest in some of these restaurants throughout my area. Ironically, my main concern wasn’t so much the food aspect of it all, but a much more important variable of the dining experience- CUSTOMER SERVICE!

 

Now let me break down my definition of customer service for you so that we’re on the same page. I think we’d all agree that for the most part, folks don’t treat each other kindly these days. No one knows this better than someone that works in the the food service industry. One thing is for sure, after witnessing first hand over the years how the general public treat waiters and waitresses as a whole- I have nothing but great respect and admiration for these guys now. This particularly applies to the exceptional servers of course. Just as a police officer deals with violent, drunk, rude people on a daily basis…wait staff interact with much of the same (sometimes more often). This takes incredible patience and social intelligence to process interactions like that every single day- Most people can’t handle normal conflict on an occasional basis. So before I get into my big speil about customer service, I would like to tip my hat to those spectacular waiters and waitresses of Toledo. In my future blogs you will know who they are and why…but you will also hear about the other half too. I may seem a bit cruel at times to those whom may have not left such a great impression. If I offend some of you in the process then I apologize in advance for telling the cold harsh truth. Sometimes.. it is what it is. Like I mentioned above, we all have avoided the truth at times...you will certainly see this point in some of my blogsJ 

 

My belief regarding customer service is simple…when I walk into any restaurant, I expect one thing and one thing only- Make me feel important! Remember the golden rule your mom use to tell you when you were little? Every human being on this planet has a sign on their forehead that says “make me feel important”. If you don’t agree, then you are just a stubborn moron that thrives on being difficult because you weren’t loved enough as a child. Everyone wants to feel important period! So when I walk into a bar, or a fast food place, or any restaurant anywhere…I expect the staff to excercise the most basic of customer service laws that just so happens to be identical to the golden rule as well. hmmmm …common sense 101, right? Well, like I mentioned before, restaurant staff deal with a lot of bullshit, and I appreciate that beyond words.That is why I want you to understand that if/when I ever bad mouth any person or establishment, it is only after I had given them several chances to correct the behavior (without them aware of it of course). I understand that everyone has their bad days. Despite my frank remarks I believe myself to be fair and patient when it comes to this realm. I am not one of those old jerks who believes the “customer is always right” rule means to be rude to a waitress when his or her food comes out burnt, or cold, or late, or whatever. A 22 year old girl who is busting her ass to make ends meat and going to school doesn’t deserve to be treated like an asshole because ding dong in the kitchen was too busy jerkin off in the back and screwed up the order. Have you seen some of these dongs they have in the back of some of these places? It’s like a straight up half way house sometimes.

And restaraunt owners,managers, & servers! - take heed to my words if your establishment is mentioned. I not only represent myself, but an abundance of other individuals who share the same impression. The real frank is a large group (larger than you think) of men and women who walk into your business every day and provide you with what you value most - MONEY! So we simply want you to provide us with what we came in for- SERVICE! (not rocket science)

 Nuff said about that for now, my next post will be my first official review, which happens to be one of my favorite places in Toledo...BURGER BAR 419 (thought i'd start on a positive note).  But like even the Burger Bar, theres always room for improvement nomatter how great the place ...so this should be interesting.

 Are you ready for the truth Toledo?…hope so, cuz im about to get REAL FRANK on your asses!  

Stay Hungry!

                                  "The Real Frank"